Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize