If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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