At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
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So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
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I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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