I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this will be a night to untag.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
