we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize