I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
