Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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