I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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