No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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