After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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