so that wasnt chicken after all
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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