put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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