Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
