why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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