you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
