There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize