69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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