i just had sex bonerless
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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