so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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