It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
