i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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