im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink