i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often