I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
handjob tips. give me some.
This house was built for laser tag.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.