'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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