I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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