you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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