when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
