Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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