is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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