why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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