Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize