Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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