where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
