can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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