yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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