she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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