just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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