the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
