So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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