Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
