WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
