This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
