textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
