so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
