okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
