Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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