Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
