I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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