I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
