Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize