I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
