Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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