That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
