Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cannot find my penis.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
