I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
