I wanna bring you to show and tell
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
