She's JV to your varsity
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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