just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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