talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.