trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!