we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do