help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
im holly from the hills drunk
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.