All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can I color on your dick again?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"