you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
