OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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