So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
