Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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