So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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