i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
